The Cycle

In life, we all have cycles. We meet the same types of people over and over until we learn the lesson and break free. Some lessons are easy and others can really suck and be difficult to break. The key is being able to trust yourself, love yourself, and forgive yourself throughout the entire process. That is how we grow and come to know ourselves as we truly are, which is strong, capable, and beautiful.

One of my cycles has been meeting people who are emotionally and psychologically oppressive (I'm not here to demonize anyone, please don't misinterpret what I'm saying). Sometimes oppression is intentional, other times it's not. But it's been present in many of my  relationships including, but not limited to, my romantic, platonic, and familial relationships.

Seeing a cycle in your life is often a sign of something within yourself that needs to be addressed, and this can be difficult, especially if you (like me) have felt victimized. However, when it comes to human relationships and karmic bundles, the thing to remember is that like attracts like. The common saying associated with the concept of karma is "what goes around comes around". So, if you find yourself surrounded by negativity, take a moment to evaluate what you may or may not have sent around.

Self-inquiry is the most important part of having a spiritual life. Or, really, the human experience itself. It is our responsibility to assess ourselves and how we impact the world around us because that is how true change comes about. Change your output to create a better reality for everyone involved. Simple. :)

But sometimes what we confront isn't pretty. It doesn't fit our ideal version of ourselves. We feel shame. And shame sucks. Shame really, really sucks. It ties your insides in knots and makes you think really terrible things about yourself. It can be isolating, because admitting something that makes you feel ashamed is difficult. How will others react? What if they won't love me anymore? These are real concerns.

But everyone deals with this. There's not a single person walking around that doesn't have a negative cycle that makes them feel ashamed. And if they say they don't, you can be certain they're lying. To me, it's comforting to remind myself that everyone lies, everyone is mean sometimes, everyone gets angry or sad. The hiding is what hurts us the most, I think.

This is where self-love and forgiveness comes in. Love yourself in spite of your flaws. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.
There's a verse in the Bible that says "love your neighbor as yourself" and I think this gets misunderstood. Most of the time, the church tells us we are selfish creatures and should therefore try to love people more. But in my opinion, we don't love ourselves enough.  You can't give what you don't have. If you don't love yourself very much and you are trying to live out this verse, you're not going to love your neighbor very much. But if you love yourself through the struggles and forgive yourself along the way, then you can truly love and forgive another.

Well, this ended up being a long winded blog about self-love and self-forgiveness. I don't think I went off-track, but I also don't want you to have to sit through an entire novel of breaking negative cycles in one sitting, so I'll leave you with this to munch on for a few days and I'll revisit the subject.

Happy Sunday, all :)